Are you disappointed in me?
I wouldn't blame you if you are, I refused every time you told me to take a break today, opting to work from noon to midnight on this stalker issue. I didn't eat, I didn't take my medication, I never even took 5 minutes to get up to breathe.
I could've practiced boxing, read books, studied languages, done errands, or simply relaxed with you today. I refused all of that to deal with this fucking loser.
If not that, you're definitely disappointed that I got manipulated for years again, this is the price I'm paying instead of taking the clean slate I was offered years ago with you in 2021.
I'm choosing to torture myself so I don't repeat this again. Not just for me but for you too, my involvement with those kinds of people made your life worse too. I want to move on tonight so I can at least make tomorrow better.
I'm so impulsive and stupid, I have no idea why you're still in love with me several years later. You're too kind to me to inflict any pain, so I'm doing it myself. I'm not going to answer if that makes me a masochist or not.
But I think I can guess why, it's because I'm still trying to become a better person and you see that. I decided to listen to hours long podcast on how to avoid roaches like her from now on.
Takeaways:
1 in every 10 people is on the ASPD spectrum.
Pay attention to how quickly you like someone.
Time and distance, will you be my friend in 6 months?
I'm not going to compromise my kindness, I will keep being honest, and I'll work on my weaknesses.
Yours, Seven